Over the past couple of days I haven’t felt like running. In truth, I haven’t felt like doing much lately … like short bouts of unexplained anxiety, sluggishness, tiredness and just wanting to get the day over in the hope that the next one would be better.
I was supposed to do a one-hour easy run yesterday but I found enough excuses and reasons not to do it. I’d do it first thing in the morning, I told myself. I didn’t.
Of course, that meant the thoughts of getting out to do it hung over me like a dark cloud all day. I could very easily not have bothered today either, but that would then have spread over until tomorrow … I would then have bailed on going to parkrun and before you know it my confidence would have been in tatters which wouldn’t have been good going into another busy couple of weeks.
I managed to dredge up enough enthusiasm and energy from somewhere to somehow drag myself out, to at least attempt it. If I did that and it didn’t go to plan then I can always say I gave it a go.
Because I didn’t want to do it I wasn’t that interested in speed or anything like that. The plan said ‘easy’ anyway, so I decided to make it exactly that.
I thought if I could return to heart rate training I could at least get something useful out of the run. Reverting to the usual dual carriageway/industrial estate route I just pattered along, finding it really comfortable and enjoying the ever gradual feeling of my mood starting to lift.
Instead of turning back at the industrial estate I decided to run through it, and headed for the link road which took me into the town centre, past the two supermarkets, KFC and McDonald’s.
I had noticed that my speed was getting faster so I thought I’d try to turn it into a progression run – and that’s how it worked out, each mile/km quicker than the one before. Granted it wasn’t speedy at all, but it didn’t need to be.
The focus tonight was about getting out, changing my mood and keeping my legs moving. Tick, tick and tick again.